Quote #28360
You can kidnap me and force me to be your watchdog if you want...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28361
I bet when they weren’t fighting, Vikings with horn helmets had to stick potatoes...
Quote #28362
The other day I got out my can opener and was opening a can...
Quote #28363
What am I afraid of I’ll tell you a feather. that’s right, a feather....
Quote #28352
We used to laugh at Grandpa when he’d head off to go fishing. But...
Quote #28353
Instead of raising your hand to ask a question in class, how about individual...
Quote #28354
Of all the warning sounds that animals make, I think the one that’s the...
Quote #28340
Let’s be honest Isn’t a lot of what we call tap dancing really just...
Quote #28341
I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because...
Quote #28342
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or...