Quote #28434
If I had the time to sit down and write a thank-you note to...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28435
If you had to list the different types of haircuts in order of how...
Quote #28436
Whether they live in an igloo or a grass shack or a mud hut,...
Quote #28437
Blow ye winds, like the trumpet blows but without that noise.
Quote #28438
When I think back on all the blessings I have been given in my...
Quote #28432
If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he...
Quote #28433
I think Superman and Santa Claus are actually the same guy, and I’ll tell...
Quote #28421
You know how to paint a room real fast Just put paint rollers on...
Quote #28422
I guess one of the funniest memories of my grandfather was the time I...
Quote #28423
When I heard that trees grow a new ‘ring’ for each year they live,...