Quote #33210
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what...
Category Archives: Steven Wright
Quote #33211
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.
Quote #33212
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near...
Quote #33213
It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.
Quote #33214
It doesn’t make a difference what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.
Quote #33215
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer
Quote #33216
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates… When...
Quote #33217
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an...
Quote #33218
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good’...
Quote #33203
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know