Quote #28371
If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28372
I remember we were all horrified to see Grandpa up on the roof with...
Quote #28373
I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because...
Quote #28374
It’s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never...
Quote #28375
I don’t think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think...
Quote #28360
You can kidnap me and force me to be your watchdog if you want...
Quote #28361
I bet when they weren’t fighting, Vikings with horn helmets had to stick potatoes...
Quote #28362
The other day I got out my can opener and was opening a can...
Quote #28363
What am I afraid of I’ll tell you a feather. that’s right, a feather....
Quote #28352
We used to laugh at Grandpa when he’d head off to go fishing. But...