Quote #28384
If you go to a costume party at your boss’s house, wouldn’t you think...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28385
It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull...
Quote #28386
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with...
Quote #28375
I don’t think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think...
Quote #28364
I’m telling you, just attach a big parachute TO THE PLANE ITSELF Is anyone...
Quote #28365
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We...
Quote #28366
Isn’t it funny how one minute life can be such a struggle, and the...
Quote #28367
Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let’s say you’re an astronaut...
Quote #28368
Sometimes I wonder if I’m patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but...
Quote #28369
If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be...