Quote #28395
I think one way police departments could make some money would be to hold...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28396
If you’re in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys,...
Quote #28381
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror,...
Quote #28382
I think my favorite monster movie is ‘Gone With the Wind’, because it has...
Quote #28383
Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw...
Quote #28384
If you go to a costume party at your boss’s house, wouldn’t you think...
Quote #28385
It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull...
Quote #28386
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with...
Quote #28376
If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and...
Quote #28377
The tiger can’t change his spots. No, wait, he did Good for him