Quote #28409
If I could be a bird, I think I’d be a penguin, because then...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28394
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his...
Quote #28395
I think one way police departments could make some money would be to hold...
Quote #28396
If you’re in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys,...
Quote #28397
A quiz If I am my brother’s keeper, who am I (Answer me.)
Quote #28387
I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown,...
Quote #28388
If you’re an ant, and you’re walking along across the top of a cup...
Quote #28389
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to...
Quote #28390
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ‘em...
Quote #28391
I can’t stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something...