Quote #28154
If you’re in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy’s glove...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28155
I hope that after I die, people will say of me ‘That guy sure...
Quote #28156
If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes...
Quote #28157
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it’s...
Quote #28158
If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don’t think I’d call it Trampo-Land,...
Quote #28159
If you’re an archaeologist, I bet it’s real embarrassing to put together a skull...
Quote #28148
When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that...
Quote #28149
If you’re a cowboy, and you’re dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet...
Quote #28150
If I ever do a book on the Amazon, I hope I am able...
Quote #28151
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and...