Quote #28164
Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28165
Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a...
Quote #28166
Marta likes to talk about sensuality, but I don’t think she would know sensuality...
Quote #28167
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate....
Quote #28168
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it...
Quote #28169
I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver. And...
Quote #28170
Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the...
Quote #28171
If you’re a boxing referee, it’s probably illegal to wear a bow tie that...
Quote #28160
To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kinda scary. I’ve wondered where this...
Quote #28148
When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that...