Quote #28198
Instead of putting a quarter under a kid’s pillow, how about a pinecone That...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28199
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and your friends are all...
Quote #28185
It’s easy to sit there and say you’d like to have more money. And...
Quote #28186
I’d like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls...
Quote #28187
The old pool shooter had won many a game in his life. But now...
Quote #28188
I wish I lived on a planet that had two suns—regular sun and ‘rogue’...
Quote #28189
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I don’t pretend to even know...
Quote #28190
If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I...
Quote #28191
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front...
Quote #28192
Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For...