Quote #28249
Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28250
If you’re traveling in a time machine, and you’re eating corn on the cob,...
Quote #28251
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me....
Quote #28252
I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a...
Quote #28237
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads...
Quote #28238
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my...
Quote #28239
I remember when I was in the army, we had the toughest drill sergeant...
Quote #28240
I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk,...
Quote #28241
If you’re ever selling your house, and some people come by, and a big...
Quote #28242
I think there probably should be a rule that if you’re talking about how...