Quote #28268
If you ever go temporarily insane, don’t shoot somebody, like a lot of people...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28269
Marta said I don’t seem to like to read fiction very much. ‘I guess...
Quote #28254
I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while...
Quote #28255
Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half Someone...
Quote #28256
You know what’s probably a good thing to hang on your porch in the...
Quote #28245
I don’t think I’m ever more ‘aware’ than I am right after I hit...
Quote #28246
Worship the potato The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what...
Quote #28247
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep...
Quote #28248
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm...
Quote #28249
Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so...