Quote #28279
I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28280
I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that...
Quote #28281
Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of...
Quote #28270
If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out...
Quote #28271
When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of...
Quote #28272
If you were a gladiator in olden days, I bet the inefficiency of how...
Quote #28273
I wish I could shrink down to the size of an ant. And maybe...
Quote #28274
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him...
Quote #28275
Laurie got offended that I used the word ‘puke.’ But to me, that’s what...
Quote #28260
To me, there’s no better symbol for the world than a grasshopper lying dead...