Quote #28327
Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28328
As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that...
Quote #28318
If you get invited to your first orgy, don’t just show up nude. That’s...
Quote #28319
Sometimes I think I’d be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you.
Quote #28320
If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe...
Quote #28321
I wouldn’t be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut...
Quote #28322
If doctors ever tell you that you’ve ‘flipped out,’ don’t believe them, and just...
Quote #28323
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and...
Quote #28324
Isn’t it funny how whenever we go to a county fair or a state...
Quote #28325
During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on...