Quote #28330
If you’re a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it’s...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28331
A funny thing is if you’re out hiking and your friend gets bit by...
Quote #28332
I wish my name was Todd, because then I could say, ‘Yes, my name’s...
Quote #28333
If you’re a blacksmith, probably the proudest day of your life is when you...
Quote #28334
I’m just guessing, but probably one of the early signs that your radarscope is...
Quote #28335
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down We...
Quote #28336
I wonder if the polite thing to do is always the right thing to...
Quote #28337
If you’re robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it’s...
Quote #28338
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was...
Quote #28339
I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people,...