Quote #33212
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near...
Category Archives: Steven Wright
Quote #33213
It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.
Quote #33214
It doesn’t make a difference what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.
Quote #33215
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer
Quote #33216
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates… When...
Quote #33217
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an...
Quote #13543
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a...
Quote #13450
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Quote #12683
Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.
Quote #12631
Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and...