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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #28392

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to...
Louis Keisler

Quote #11793

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Always remember, you can never finish work, but work can finish you.
Bible, Psalms 133

Quote #9414

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Behold, how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.
Groucho Marx

Quote #2347

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Edmund Burke

Quote #23143

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
The only infallible criterion of wisdom to vulgar minds — success.
George Bernard Shaw

Quote #16798

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses.
George Carlin

Quote #33705

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell...
William Feather

Quote #13750

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let...
Louisa May Alcott

Quote #24791

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I like to help women help themselves, as that is, in my opinion, the...
George Burns

Quote #22954

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I get a standing ovation jaust standing.
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