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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13766

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out...
William Shakespeare

Quote #5449

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
He wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat.
Endre Balogh

Quote #10464

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The man we call a specialist today was formerly called a man with a...
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Quote #21281

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.
Dave Barry

Quote #4913

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you...
Clarence Darrow

Quote #6315

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no...
Homer

Quote #7366

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The minds of the everlasting gods are not changed suddenly.
Happy Gilmore

Quote #2475

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Happy Son of a bitch ball. Why can’t you go home Aren’t you good...
Publilius Syrus

Quote #4350

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Pardon one offense, and you encourage the commission of many.
Pliny the Elder

Quote #21122

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
There is always something new out of Africa.
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