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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13858

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The other day I got out my can opener and was opening a can...
Robert Millikan

Quote #20952

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I conceive the essential task of religion to be to develop the consciences, the...
Napoleon Bonaparte

Quote #11054

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Medicine is a collection of uncertain prescriptions the results of which, taken collectively, are...
Joe Moore

Quote #15821

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
You can always get the truth from a politician after he has turned seventy,...
Peter Mere Latham

Quote #15030

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Fortunate indeed, is the man who takes exactly the right measure of himself, and...
Oliver L. North

Quote #16111

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I thought using the Ayatollah’s money to support the Nicaraguan resistance … was a...
Joanne Woodward

Quote #19241

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to...
Oliver Wendell Holmes

Quote #4028

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
People can be divided into two classes those who go ahead and do something,...
Stanley Walker

Quote #21750

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve. Run around with decent folk...
Steven Wright

Quote #19262

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.
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