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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13702

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re...
Sacha Guitry

Quote #13535

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
You can pretend to be serious you can’t pretend to be witty.
James Earl Jimmy Carter, Jr.

Quote #11670

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
An act of terrorism totally outside the bounds of international law and diplomatic tradition....
Cicero

Quote #19853

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Reason should direct and appetite obey.
Lao Tzu

Quote #3734

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Seek not happiness too greedily, and be not fearful of happiness.
William Shakespeare

Quote #5395

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Alas, poor Yorick I knew him, Horatio a fellow of infinite jest, of most...
Steven Wright

Quote #19259

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Helen Rowland

Quote #17115

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been...
Glen Raphael

Quote #16843

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Most people believe that if you go in and try to micromanage a forest,...
Julius Caesar

Quote #19923

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
It is not these well-fed long-haired men that I fear, but the pale and...
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