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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13924

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Carl would have to be fast to beat the stranger. Real fast. ‘Draw,’ said...
Bertrand Russell

Quote #7537

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.
Horace

Quote #8385

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.
J. R. R. Tolkien

Quote #8355

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.
George Jean Nathan

Quote #15969

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
Plutarch

Quote #3969

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The whole life of man is but a point of time let us enjoy...
Ralph Kiner

Quote #14845

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
There’s a lot of heredity in that family.
Otto von Bismark

Quote #3575

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn’t...
Antisthenes

Quote #10095

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Observe your enemies, for they first find out your faults.
John Brown

Quote #19746

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Be mild with the mild, shrewd with the crafty, confiding to the honest, rough...
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