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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13759

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot...
Mark Twain

Quote #1672

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good...
Joe Gores

Quote #20402

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.
Groucho Marx

Quote #20810

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Joseph Addison

Quote #4201

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Self discipline is that which, next to virtue, truly and essentially raises one man...
Richard Bach

Quote #3705

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.
Spanish Proverb

Quote #21093

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.
Katherine Cebrian

Quote #19900

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I don’t even butter my bread. I consider that cooking.
William Jefferson Clinton

Quote #12015

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The fights I fought… cost a lot –the fight for the assault-weapons ban cost...
Karl von Clausewitz

Quote #11995

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
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