Quote #13879
Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13895
I think a good way to get in a movie is to show up...
Quote #13911
Instead of having ‘answers’ on a math test, they should just call them ‘impressions,’...
Quote #13927
If you lived in the Dark Ages, and you were a catapult operator, I...
Quote #13880
If you go to a costume party at your boss’s house, wouldn’t you think...
Quote #13896
If I was a cowboy in a lynch mob, I think I’d try to...
Quote #13912
It’s easy to sit and scoff at an old man’s folly. But also, check...
Quote #13928
If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he...
Quote #13881
It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull...
Quote #13897
I bet what happened was, they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the...