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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13779

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
If I come back as a horsefly, I think my favorite thing would be...
Flip Wilson

Quote #19123

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going...
George Bernard Shaw

Quote #412

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
A learned man is an idler who kills time with study. Beware of his...
Harry S Truman

Quote #3051

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
It’s not the hand that signs the laws that holds the destiny of America....
Konstantin Ustinovich Chernenko

Quote #11760

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Those who try to give us advice on matters of human rights do nothing...
Saint Francis de Sales

Quote #17253

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Make friends with the angels, who though invisible are always with you. Often invoke...
George Burns

Quote #7775

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my...
Samuel Goldwyn

Quote #13383

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn’t like it.
Clarence Darrow

Quote #6318

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now...
Karl Kraus

Quote #7283

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a...
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