Quote #28390
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ‘em...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28391
I can’t stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something...
Quote #28376
If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and...
Quote #28377
The tiger can’t change his spots. No, wait, he did Good for him
Quote #28378
I’d like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes...
Quote #28379
If the captain invited me to his party, after he had whipped me earlier...
Quote #28380
I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the...
Quote #28381
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror,...
Quote #28382
I think my favorite monster movie is ‘Gone With the Wind’, because it has...
Quote #28383
Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw...