Quote #28398
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28387
I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown,...
Quote #28388
If you’re an ant, and you’re walking along across the top of a cup...
Quote #28389
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to...
Quote #28390
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ‘em...
Quote #28391
I can’t stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something...
Quote #28392
I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to...
Quote #28393
If you ever discover that what you’re seeing is a play within a play,...
Quote #28394
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his...
Quote #28395
I think one way police departments could make some money would be to hold...