Quote #28418
When Rick told me he was having trouble with his wife, I had to...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28419
It’s true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets his wings....
Quote #28420
If you want to be the popular one at a party, here’s a good...
Quote #28410
Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because...
Quote #28411
Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, ‘Aw,...
Quote #28412
I don’t say that the bird is ‘good’ or the bat is ‘bad.’ But...
Quote #28413
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming...
Quote #28414
Many people do not realize that the snowshoe can be used for a great...
Quote #28415
Instead of having ‘answers’ on a math test, they should just call them ‘impressions,’...
Quote #28400
If I was a cowboy in a lynch mob, I think I’d try to...