Quote #28256
You know what’s probably a good thing to hang on your porch in the...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28245
I don’t think I’m ever more ‘aware’ than I am right after I hit...
Quote #28246
Worship the potato The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what...
Quote #28247
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep...
Quote #28233
I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised...
Quote #28234
Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our...
Quote #28235
My new millionaire idea is one regular shoe and one ‘swollen’ shoe, for when...
Quote #28236
I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large...
Quote #28237
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads...
Quote #28238
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my...