Quote #28429
When you’re going up the stairs and you take a step, kick the other...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28430
If you’re trying to remember a happy memory, don’t think back to a time...
Quote #28431
If you lived in the Dark Ages, and you were a catapult operator, I...
Quote #28421
You know how to paint a room real fast Just put paint rollers on...
Quote #28422
I guess one of the funniest memories of my grandfather was the time I...
Quote #28423
When I heard that trees grow a new ‘ring’ for each year they live,...
Quote #28424
Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a...
Quote #28425
You know what makes good hair for a snow man REAL hair. Don’t ask...
Quote #28410
Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because...
Quote #28411
Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, ‘Aw,...