Quote #28268
If you ever go temporarily insane, don’t shoot somebody, like a lot of people...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28269
Marta said I don’t seem to like to read fiction very much. ‘I guess...
Quote #28245
I don’t think I’m ever more ‘aware’ than I am right after I hit...
Quote #28246
Worship the potato The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what...
Quote #28247
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep...
Quote #28248
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm...
Quote #28249
Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so...
Quote #28250
If you’re traveling in a time machine, and you’re eating corn on the cob,...
Quote #28251
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me....
Quote #28252
I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a...