Quote #28273
I wish I could shrink down to the size of an ant. And maybe...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #28274
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him...
Quote #28275
Laurie got offended that I used the word ‘puke.’ But to me, that’s what...
Quote #28276
The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, ‘Go...
Quote #28277
It’s too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as...
Quote #28278
If I ever become a mummy, I’m going to have it so when somebody...
Quote #28279
I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in...
Quote #28280
I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that...
Quote #28281
Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of...
Quote #28267
To us, it might look like just a rag. But to the brave, embattled...