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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13904

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Whenever I open a door, I pull on the doorknob real hard, because isn’t...
David K. Shipler

Quote #17498

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The Holocaust never quite leaves Israeli Jews alone. Arabs use it against them and...
Alfonso the Wise

Quote #19198

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints...
Albert Camus

Quote #6933

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
You know what charm is a way of getting the answer yes without having...
Saint Augustine

Quote #10298

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Christ is not valued at all unless He is valued above all.
Walt Whitman

Quote #8324

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines, Going where...
Eugene F. Ware

Quote #18738

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The lightning-bug is brilliant, but he hasn’t any mind He stumbles through existence with...
E. M. Kelly

Quote #8126

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The difference between a boss and a leader a boss says, ‘Go’ – a...
Henry Van Dyke

Quote #4929

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is...
Jerry Coleman

Quote #12074

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Mike Caldwell, the Padres’ right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.
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