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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13838

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or...
Flora Edwards

Quote #12773

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes...
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Quote #15900

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Citizen participation is a device whereby public officials induce nonpublic individuals to act in...
Doug Larson

Quote #7451

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with...
Robert Brault

Quote #11202

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for...
James M. Barrie

Quote #19683

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I know not, sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he...
John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Quote #5656

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Too often we… enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.
Henry Louis Mencken

Quote #15634

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in...
Robert Orben

Quote #2344

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Quit worrying about your health. It’ll go away.
Ezra Pound

Quote #21033

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Literature is news that stays news.
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