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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13673

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Can’t the Marx Brothers be arrested and maybe even tortured for all the confusion...
G. Weilacher

Quote #18832

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
One only needs two tools in life WD-40 to make things go, and duct...
Matthew Arnold

Quote #10200

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The true meaning of religion is thus not simply morality, but morality touched by...
Joe Moore

Quote #15830

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
It’s hard to tell if the world is actually growing worse, or if the...
William Osler

Quote #4260

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day’s work...
Ann Landers

Quote #2196

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
Henry Drummond

Quote #4406

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Kindness is the golden key that unlocks the hearts of others.
Phyllis Diller

Quote #20069

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Edward Fitzgerald

Quote #13006

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Leave well – even ‘pretty well’ – alone that is what I learn as...
Dr. Dale E. Turner

Quote #18150

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
God does not judge us by the multitude of works we perform, but how...
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