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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13858

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The other day I got out my can opener and was opening a can...
Emperor Sigismund

Quote #17504

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I am the Roman Emperor, and am above grammar.
Confucius

Quote #1284

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness.
P. J. O'Rourke

Quote #3557

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off...
Samuel Johnson

Quote #7958

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Every quotation contributes something to the stability or enlargement of the language.
William Shakespeare

Quote #5355

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
You cram these words into mine ears against the stomach of my sense.
William Shakespeare

Quote #5293

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Life is a tale told by an idiot — full of sound and fury,...
Cicero

Quote #19823

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
All action is of the mind and the mirror of the mind is the...
Chinese Proverb

Quote #9123

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
If you must play, decide on three things at the start the rules of...
Aesop

Quote #5471

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties.
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