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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13869

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because...
Samuel Butler

Quote #8167

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
When you have told anyone you have left him a legacy the only decent...
Joe Gores

Quote #20402

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.
Ambrose Bierce

Quote #4159

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Calamities are of two kinds misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
General Omar Nelson Bradley

Quote #11180

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
It seems very unfortunate that in order to secure political preference, people are made...
Barber B. Conable, Jr

Quote #12132

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Congress is functioning the way the Founding Fathers intended-not very well. They understood that...
Aldous Huxley

Quote #5902

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Never put off till tomorrow the fun you can have today.
Aristotle

Quote #1826

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The gods too are fond of a joke.
William Makepeace Thackeray

Quote #7461

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in...
Alan Marshall Beck

Quote #10611

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Little girls are the nicest things that happen to people. They are born with...
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