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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13835

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people,...
David Letterman

Quote #20789

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
Ambrose Bierce

Quote #4165

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things...
Carrie

Quote #12986

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now. I...
Dana Carvey

Quote #19938

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I’m thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.
George Jackson

Quote #14447

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it’s cowardice.
Zelda Fitzgerald

Quote #20125

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
She refused to be bored chiefly because she wasnt boring.
Robert Green Ingersoll

Quote #14415

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The present is the necessary product of all the past, the necessary cause of...
Dante Alighieri

Quote #2725

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
There is no greater sorrow Than to be mindful of the happy time In...
Judge Gideon J. Tucker

Quote #21597

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
No man’s life, liberty or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
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