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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13759

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot...
Andrew Lang

Quote #15017

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts — for support rather than...
William Shakespeare

Quote #5246

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
To die, to sleep –To sleep, perchance to dream, ay there’s the rub,For in...
Aldous Huxley

Quote #5887

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and...
Mark Twain

Quote #1688

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000...
Tommy Boy

Quote #3566

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Tommy If I wanted a kiss I’d call your mother.
Paul Sherer

Quote #17487

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
They crucified Jesus not because they disliked what he said, but because they couldn’t...
Franklin P. Adams

Quote #9807

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe,...
Douglas Noel Adams

Quote #9788

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency...
Francis Eliza Hodgson Burnett

Quote #11459

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done,...
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