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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13749

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
In weightlifting, I don’t think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
Henry James

Quote #14486

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on...
Robert F. Goheen

Quote #13369

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the...
Jerry Coleman

Quote #12092

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
You didn’t have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got...
Sophocles

Quote #1060

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
To know that all is well, even if late will come to know it,...
Aesop

Quote #5469

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The gods help them that help themselves.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Quote #2573

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
A nation that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on...
Albert Einstein

Quote #9246

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.
Chinese Proverb

Quote #9110

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
If you stand straight Do not fear a crooked shadow.
Albert Camus

Quote #6966

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.
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