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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13644

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that...
Titus Livius

Quote #15224

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Men are only clever at shifting blame from their own shoulders to those of...
Robert Anson Heinlein

Quote #14084

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Self awareness is NOT just a bunch of amino acids bumping together.
John Greenleaf Whittier

Quote #8301

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
In any man who dies there dies with him, his first snow and kiss...
George Orwell

Quote #2905

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Part of the reason for the ugliness of adults, in a child’s eyes, is...
H.L. Mencken

Quote #38

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Misogynist A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

Quote #4046

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
There’s nothing that keeps its youth, So far as I know, but a tree...
Samuel Johnson

Quote #7969

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure.
Ayn Rand

Quote #6412

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.
Andrew Schneider

Quote #21544

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Time for the weather report. It’s cold out folks. Bonecrushing cold. The kind of...
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