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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13874

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I’d like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes...
William Seward Burroughs

Quote #11465

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
So cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to...
Henry Ward Beecher

Quote #2700

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Doctrine is nothing but the skin of truth set up and stuffed.
Katharine Hepburn

Quote #14120

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I’ve had my share. But whatever...
Samuel Johnson

Quote #7960

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that...
Thomas Arnold

Quote #10213

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
My object will be, if possible, to form Christian men, for Christian boys I...
Sarah Brady

Quote #11183

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
We are not for disarming people. When you have an epidemic it’s a public...
Tommy Boy

Quote #3569

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Richard Try an association such as Let’s say the average person uses ten percent...
Sam Ewig

Quote #4366

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends...
Lao Tzu

Quote #3744

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The men who are great live with that which is substantial, they do not...
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