Quote #13881
It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13897
I bet what happened was, they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the...
Quote #13913
One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up...
Quote #13929
I think Superman and Santa Claus are actually the same guy, and I’ll tell...
Quote #13882
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with...
Quote #13898
Just because swans mate for life, I don’t think it’s that big of a...
Quote #13914
When Rick told me he was having trouble with his wife, I had to...
Quote #13930
If I had the time to sit down and write a thank-you note to...
Quote #13883
I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown,...
Quote #13899
Here’s a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or...