Quote #13880
If you go to a costume party at your boss’s house, wouldn’t you think...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13896
If I was a cowboy in a lynch mob, I think I’d try to...
Quote #13912
It’s easy to sit and scoff at an old man’s folly. But also, check...
Quote #13928
If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he...
Quote #13881
It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull...
Quote #13897
I bet what happened was, they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the...
Quote #13913
One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up...
Quote #13929
I think Superman and Santa Claus are actually the same guy, and I’ll tell...
Quote #13882
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with...
Quote #13898
Just because swans mate for life, I don’t think it’s that big of a...