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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #28303

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Whenever anyone says ‘I can’t,’ it makes me wish he’d get stung to death...
Menander, The Double Deceiver

Quote #4470

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Whom the gods love dies young.
Luciano de Crescenzo

Quote #13546

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only...
Mitchell Burgess

Quote #33479

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
The mellow sweetness of pumpkin pie off a prison spoon is something you will...
Alexander Pope, Essay on Man

Quote #6633

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Envy will merit, as its shade, pursue, But, like the shadow, proves the substance...
Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Quote #9622

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to...
(Anon.)

Quote #19140

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
Abraham Lincoln

Quote #2917

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.
Phyllis Chesler

Quote #522

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
If it were natural for father to care for their sons, they would not...
George Bernard Shaw

Quote #2062

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
What is virtue but the trades unionism of the married.
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