Quote #24617
I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that...
Quote #21321
I wish they would only take me as I am.
Quote #9957
Ya know, if you treat every comic the way you treated me tonight, You...
Quote #20952
A jest’s prosperity lies in the ear Of him that hears it, never in...
Quote #1299
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
Quote #28318
If you get invited to your first orgy, don’t just show up nude. That’s...
Quote #27436
Walking isn’t a lost art — one must, by some means, get to the...
Quote #15871
Sin with the multitude, and your responsibility and guilt are as great and as...
Quote #31740
The attempt to silence a man is the greatest honor you can bestow on...
Quote #11343
Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.