Quote #376
I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there...
Quote #28337
If you’re robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it’s...
Quote #26718
Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.
Quote #20073
No one is so generous as he who has nothing to give.
Quote #18494
Happy Son of a bitch ball. Why can’t you go home Aren’t you good...
Quote #16697
Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word ‘safe’ that I wasn’t...
Quote #17249
Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.
Quote #30907
Don’t look for more honor than your learning merits.
Quote #29254
Don’t forget to love yourself.
Quote #21726
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second...