Quote #28421
You know how to paint a room real fast Just put paint rollers on...
Quote #28266
If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think...
Quote #3192
The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy...
Quote #7798
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of...
Quote #28587
Misery is when grown-ups don’t realize how miserable kids can feel.
Quote #12661
Be generous but not extravagant, be frugal but not miserly.
Quote #408
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of telling the truth.
Quote #18892
The past always looks better than it was. It’s only pleasant because it isn’t...
Quote #24635
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be...
Quote #20782
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is...