Quote #9873
Ya know, if you treated every comic the way you treated me tonight. You...
Quote #16598
Light at the end of the tunnel We don’t even have a tunnel we...
Quote #658
Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop...
Quote #12142
My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never...
Quote #20221
A wise man ought always to follow the paths beaten by great men, and...
Quote #14041
The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights.
Quote #10222
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
Quote #16257
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the...
Quote #30788
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
Quote #27442
The greatest discoveries have come from people who have looked at a standard situation...