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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13882

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with...
Emperor Sigismund

Quote #17504

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I am the Roman Emperor, and am above grammar.
Thomas Jefferson

Quote #8092

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when...
Berthold Auerbach

Quote #10309

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
La Bruyere

Quote #2621

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Discretion is the perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the...
John Ernst Steinbeck

Quote #17729

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
One man was so mad at me that he ended his letter Beware. You...
Willie Stone

Quote #17785

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Vision without a task is only a dream. A task without a vision is...
Bertrand Russell

Quote #7507

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
When one admits that nothing is certain one must, I think, also admit that...
Benjamin Franklin

Quote #3887

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
After three days men grow weary of a wench, a guest, and rainy weather.
Mike Tyson

Quote #18175

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I’m just an average guy. I’m not Mother Teresa, but I’m not Charles Manson...
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