Quote #19261
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a...
Category Archives: Steven Wright
Quote #19262
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included. 0-1
Quote #19263
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near...
Quote #19264
It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it. +2-2
Quote #19249
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know +2-2
Quote #19265
It doesn’t make a difference what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature....
Quote #19250
I went to a store and asked if they had anything to put under...
Quote #19266
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer 00
Quote #19251
I have an existential map. It has ‘You are here’ written all over it....
Quote #19267
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates… When...